Shoulda Woulda Coulda

I escaped to the grocery store last night after hubby got home from work. As I pulled up to the stop light my car started the familiar rhythmic shaking that occurs when some inconsiderate ass decides to crank his sweet tunes. Only this time I can honestly say I've never been shaken this much.

I don't want this gentleman to see that I notice his display, so I continue to sing along with my Natalie Imbruglia song

I'm all out of faith
this is how I feel
I'm cold and I am shamed
lying naked on the floor

I am rockin' out! YEAH!

But of course, as we turn together I just HAVE to catch a glimpse of this model male specimen. I see a white, heavy-set, non descript guy literally hanging out of his Chevy extended cab truck window like it's 80 degrees outside and he's cruisin' the strip. Nevermind that it's a Thursday night and no one's on the strip because it's 30 degrees out and the first snow of the year!

I immediately go into a fit of giggles and continue on to the store. However all of the way to the store I have ample opportunity to fulfill my little fantasy of confronting this Hercules of the Arctic. So here's what I WISH I had done:

I pulled up alongside him at the next light and proceeded to give him the "look". The "I think you're so hot" look. What he sees is a girl with no makeup, hair in need of a cut in a messy ponytail, and two car seats all in a very stylish Honda CRV. (oh yeah, and a wedding ring) Intrigued, he turns down his speakers to have a chat. So I say, "I've been looking for a man just like you! Someone whose calvin-pissing sticker, loud truck and complete disregard for people screams: I HAVE A SMALL PENIS! NOTICE ME!"

sigh...but I'm a chicken. So I just made myself feel cooler by turning on Tool instead of Imbruglia. I may be a Mommy but I'm a bad ass Mommy!