A good nap and couple of beers

Who would have known that when your child falls asleep 2 hours earlier than expected that you’d feel absolute and total relief!  Just enough time for me to have some really disgusting cinnabon popcorn (don’t ask) and a couple of beers while watching some sappy romantic comedy on TV (yes, I even subjected myself to commercials!).  

The baby eventually woke up, so we stayed up on the couch watching “the 627 Lb woman” on Discover Health. I love that channel. It was captivating to me, although Ali didn’t seem impressed. She napped through half of it and then left me in the living room to go reorganize the magnets on the refrigerator.

That’s her new pastime, as of today. I introduced her to the world of refrigerator magnets and now she can’t get enough. So to all of you Ali-sitters out there, I recommend the magnets (under strict supervision of course!).

Who gets the whole “playgroup” thing?

I guess I don’t get it. Or maybe I feel enough “support” at home. I don’t mind chatting online with other mom’s about life in general. It’s on my time, and I can answer or ignore them.  But when you have to meet other mom’s in a public face to face atmosphere it’s freaky, weird and strained.

I went to the Providence Hospital “cruisers” group and found it to be really interesting to have the kids all going crazy. And there were SO MANY! But I wasn’t comfortable talking about bowel movements or teething with these other ladies. It’s all about my ego really. And the ego’s of the other moms.

If I were to tell someone what I feed my child (which I’m guess is not what most people think I feed her) they may judge me.  Sigh….I know. Everyone is judged by everyone else. That doesn’t make me feel any better though. I want to feel openly accepted all the time. And Damn it! I want everyone to like me.  Since I know that’s never going to happen I have to face reality, but really I don’t know if I even want to hang out with a bunch of mom’s and discuss anything other than poop. I have friends.  That’s why I keep them. So that I can call them and we can go do un-mommy-like activities or have really un-mommy-like discussions.  

And it’s not that I don’t want to meet new people. But I DON’T want to meet new people. Not unless I know way in advance that I will have a good friendship with them and that later on down the line it’s not going to get uncomfortable. Again, I’m asking for the impossible.

For example, I made a friend two summers ago, that I thought would be a long-term relationship. Someone that was fun and interesting and not too weird. But then one day I left a message, sent and email and nothing back .Ever. So in the back of my mind I’m wondering what I did, but I’m also wondering if they think the same thing.

Not to say that things were perfect.  (I think its hard being a woman and being close friends with one member of a lesbian couple – ponder that one for the day!) I think our political views were very different, which is always fine with me, but maybe she saw me as the enemy. Which I find funny, because if she had ever asked me about my specific political views she would have known that I support her endeavors for the right to be married. But the obvious Republican slant to my liberal heart was too much for her to bear I bet.  

Oh well. You’ve got to weed out the bad ones at some point, right? So why bring in another weed that you’re just gonna have to pull a year or two later.  

Barge: A large slow vessel carrying a lot of crap

My goal is to post at least one blog a day. For some sick reason, knowing that other people are reading something that I write (even if my mom IS the only one) makes me want to write more and I think it drives me to put out a little more effort than if I was just writing in a journal. I lose my train of thought and any direction I might have had when I sit down to handwrite in a journal. I’ve also tried just journaling on the computer but I feel weird about it and still don’t have a good train of thought.

Kind of reminds me of my 10th grade English teacher, Mrs. Barge.  Yes, many jokes were had by that name.  She was a Georgia Peach (in her eyes). A nice lady, but had some very liberal ideas about what education should be about. Quantity not quality was one of her fantastic ideas.  I see now where she was going with it, but to a 10th grader it was just ridiculous.  

She wanted us to write a page a day in a journal. About anything we wanted. We were to turn them in once a week.  It felt wrong and strange. I didn’t want to write anything in a “journal” that my English teacher would read. I still wrote in my little pink teddy bear diary with the lock on it. I wasn’t about to start writing those same thoughts in a notebook that that annoying fat Georgia woman was going to read.  Ugh.  

But all the same I see now how quantity in writing can lead to quality. You have to practice writing to be any good at it (everyone except my husband and mother in law – they don’t even seem to have to try!).   So we wrote in our stupid journals just to get the grade (at least I did, until my parent’s took me out of her class and I finished 10th grade English via correspondence).  My friend Val used to write a BIG as she could and write really stupid things: “I’m writing in my journal because I have to and I don’t like it and I want to go outside and lay and I blah blah blah”.

I never got to read Macbeth or Hamlet. The only Shakespeare I’ve ever studied in a class was Romeo and Juliet and we had to take turns reading sections. It was the most boring way to read such a great play.

She did redeem herself to me one day, although it was totally unprofessional, but really funny. I think most teachers really try to be nice to all of the students equally, making sure not to ignite any of the teenage angst and competitive nature that occurs in the halls. But this one kid came to school with the funniest perfectly round hickey on his forehead.  He had taken one of those round rubber “popper” toys that were in cereal boxes in those days and stuck it on his forehead.  He looked ridiculous. And what was really great was he was a jerk. Not a very decent guy.  She made fun of him right off of the bat – asked if he needed any of her makeup. It was great.

So I guess she wasn’t all that bad.

Administrative Assistant $12 DOE Part time Needed

I am attempting to replace myself at my current job. If you know someone or you yourself are interested in applying, please call me at my office: 345-9695. I can tell you that Marja Beltrami (the owner and president of Beltrami & Associates, PC) is very accomodating, pays well and is a good teacher. I have a learned a ton from this job and have had a lot more time for my family and myself. I would recommend anyone with a small child, a college student or anyone wanting part time work apply for this job.

The biggest requirement is that you are compentent with Microsoft Word. An ability to adapt to any other software programs is also a big help. Along with quick typing speed and attention to detail.


ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT

Duties are as followed but not limited to:

Answering phones, filing, janitorial, running errands, making deliveries, client data input, client bookkeeping, assisting with company bookkeeping, assisting on projects when asked, building and updating financial reports on projects, reviewing reports, creating audit binders when needed.

Standard office hours are Monday through Friday 9:00 am to 4:00 pm. Administrative assistant hours per week will vary depending on available work, and the work schedule is flexible. Average hours will approximate 20. Depending on the work available, additional hours may be requested or days cancelled. I will try to give 24 hour notice if attendance on any given day is not required. Any day where 24 hour notice is not given and you show up for work I will pay for 2 hours of work.

Hours scheduled can and will be flexible for the employee. A weekly schedule of days and hours worked needs to be worked out and the schedule adhered to. For any changes in that schedule 24 hour advance notice would be appreciated but all requests for a varied schedule will be honored to the best of my ability.

RATE OF PAY

Administrative Assistance will earn $12.00/hour DOE

BENEFITS

There is no health, sick, vacation, or retirement benefits at this time.

New client bonus: Any new client introduced to the company by an employee will qualify the employee to a 10% signing bonus for the first calendar year fees billed to that client and 5% bonus in following years while employed. The bonus will be paid once the bill has been paid in full by the client. If the client does not pay the bill in full there will be no signing bonus paid.

Chasing geese on a Sunday night

We decided to take a little jaunt to the goose poop filled park this evening. And low and behold! There were GEESE! Alison was hypnotized. So we slowly stalked the geese for awhile before I got tired of the meandering attitude of my short legged offspring. So I picked her up and we had our own little "running of the bulls", which was, I'm sure, much more entertaining to watch. A two headed mommy monster giggling and breathing REALLY REALLY hard while slowly lumbering to catch some geese. Quite fun.

PICTURES!!!

Layne Aries Moody


Zac, Ashley and Layne (yes, Zac actually thinks he's being funny)


One Proud O'Ma!

Layne is HERE!!!

Ashley and Zac (well, mostly Ashley I think) gave birth to my new nephew, Layne Aries on Thursday night at 10:41. He's 7 lbs 2 oz and very long legged. A fairly fast labor due to the pitocin drip. But she was a trooper.

O'ma and O'pa are at the hospital right now, picking up the baby and mama to bring back here (I'm hanging out at their house right now). Things are a little dramatic right now between the families, so we'll see how easily things happen.



So here is a picture of my wolf-like brother and his new son. This was from my cellphone. I can't download the pictures from my camera here, so more pictures will come in a couple of days.

Hugs to all!

Working Hard

Joe watching alison while mommy gets adjusted.

Late Night Glass of Whine

So it’s late....for me. It’s just after 10 pm. It’s been a LOOOONNNGG week! I’m sure that there are other people out there who feel it more than me. For instance – my husband just got a promotion that has him putting out fires every 3.5 seconds all day long. My brother’s ex? Girlfriend is in labor as we speak!  I’m going to be an auntie!  One of my friends rear ended somebody.  I just had to put things into perspective before I started my late night whine.

I have been feeling so scatter-brained lately. For those who know me, this is no surprise, but I have worked so hard the past few years to overcome the forgetfulness, distractibility, and sensitivity to stress.  I just feel crushed. I know I don’t put in a perfect effort. But I find myself having to control so many little aspects of my life that it leaves no energy for the things I find important in life; my husband and my daughter. If I have no energy left for them, then what’s the point?

So these past few weeks I’ve found myself forgetting things. Basic things, but consistently forgotten things. I couldn’t remember to drop off the mail or stop by the bank. Or take my vitamins – not even once! Even though all of these things were remembered at the wrong time, they were not remembered in the appropriate moment that they were to occur. On top of that I got lazy with balancing the checkbook and we overspent. I think it was just that excitement over getting an extra paycheck on top of a raise.  You think you’re richer than you are and you can just stop thinking about it. I learned my lesson on that one! Well, at least this week I did.


I had a little whine-fest to joe the other night that involved a few tears and a lot of apology for a messy house and a lack of motivation.  Actually, a lack of any energy at all. I even thought maybe I was pregnant. I was having bouts of nausea, exhaustion and totally absentminded.  I’m not.  (that’s a whole nother blog!)

Joe interrupted my whining to tell me that it was time to quit my job. He’s been trying to get me to quit for so long, but I convinced him that it would be fine.  And I felt a sense of guilt quitting. It’s a fantastic job. I work less than 20 hours a week in an apartment where I get to bring my baby and my boss adores her. She lets her wreck her office every day and she pays me REALLY well.  So when I tell people that profess how envious they are and how much I would be screwing up if I ever let it go.

But why do something that you don’t like? I’m so tired of being someone’s administrative assistant. I’m tired of typing up something only to have someone else tell me what they don’t like about it. It’s my document dammit! You go f—ing type it if you want it to look “your” way!  Sigh...

Also, as nice as it sounds to have your child at work with you....just imagine.  Your child is at work with you. When do you get anything done? I’m the errand girl. Do you know what a pain in the butt it is to go to Costco, or the post office with a one year old?  You either have to haul her in some contraption to keep her restrained, or you have to hold her the entire time. Which, with the post office could be 2 minutes or half an hour.  She cries when I don’t hold her, or when I hold her but won’t give her what she wants. She won’t be content to ride in the backpack anymore, and she wants to put everything into plugs!  I’m tired of having to tear my attention away from one thing to focus on another. Never knowing what is more important. My child drawing all over herself with the hi-liter she just found, or getting my work done.

So I quit. I gave my notice yesterday and although a huge weight has been lifted....I’m still in the aftermath of my confused state. I must be PMSing, even though it’s a little too early for that. Anyway, I am refocusing. Hopefully. I’m doing my best.

Sweating away in Alaska

I'm so HOT! It's the hottest day out this summer (maybe hotter than yesterday) and I was just outside in my black interior car, trying to get it clean to go camping in my friends new house. (under construction...in the woods) pant pant....

I've been very neglectful the past few weeks, not blogging. I think I've felt like I haven't had anything to say, which is totally unlike me because I always have something to say. I think children do that to you though. They appear and change your entire ability to conversate about anything other than baby clothes, baby poop, baby size, baby attitude, baby poop, baby throwup, baby sleep, baby poop, etc poop...

I had a great conversation with a close friend of mine today that had be breathless I was laughing so hard. All about sex. No babies. Just sex. It was hysterical. I so wish you all could have been there - wait, probably not. Nevermind.

What happened to all of my normal daily conversation? My ability to talk about nothing for hours on end? I'm sure some people are grateful to have me shutup for five minutes, but it's unsettling to me when I finally do start my verbal vomit. I realize that I'm exploding words because they wouldn't come out any sooner. And blogging and journaling doesn't seem to be enough of an outlet.

As for causes, I think this picture nails the case shut: