Monday, February 26, 2007

An Appropriate Forward

I got this from the most AMAZING Woman today. She felt it appropriate for those she sent it to, and I agree so much that I'm going to post it for ALL to see!

"Oh, how I wish my dad would get sober." "Oh, how I want my friend to get help with her eating problem." "Oh, how I wish I could make my mom understand."

When we become obsessed with how we want others to change, we put our own happiness on hold. As we wait, hoping and scheming about how to get others to see their many problems, we are neglecting ourselves. It's almost as if we think it's not fair for us to be happy when others are miserable. But when we detach with love, we still care, we still pray and wish for the best, but we know that other people's problems belong to them, not to us.

Today let me accept the fact that if I detach with love, no one will die from it. I'll just be more healthy and happy.


You are reading from the book: Our Best Days by Nancy Hull-Mast

Friday, February 16, 2007

Monday, February 12, 2007

Moving On...

Changes in life are unpredictable and can sometimes freeze you in a state of resistance. I was frozen and unchanging and wanting to find the rewind button for some of the things in my life. This blog has helped and hindered some of those things.

I know for some readers this is the only way they get to see my kids and hear how I am. I know for others it's to hear a good laugh. Only some of you are going to get what you came here for. I cannot promise the laughs, so this site is about to get even more boring than it already is. Most of my humor comes from me making fun of myself or others and it really never feels as good as I think it's going to. So no more self depricating humor (unless I feel good about it).

There's been a lot of change in my life lately that I've initiated and I'd like to keep changing. It makes unexpected changes flow a bit better.

What is the drabble she's talking about? Has Amber gone off of the deep end? Nope. I'm just choosing to be happy. Choosing the things that I want in my life instead of holding onto things I don't want. I heard someone say the other day that you can't have what you want if you don't let go of something in it's place. You can't have that new car if you don't let go of the p.o.s.. You can't have that new relationship if you're still stewing about the last one.

And if you can't forgive someone then you thank them in your heart for what they've taught you and it will make it easier to move on. What have you learned about yourself? About others? About life? Then you can appreciate them for who they are and what their role is in your life.

So sappy little me is not making any promises to blog much anymore. I will continue to post family pictures to my flickr account and every once in awhile I might have something funny to say, or something completely cheesy.

Everybody needs a little cheese in their life sometimes, right? And sometimes I need to knock my ass of it's little high horse and laugh at myself.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Woe is Not Me

You ever have one of those days that's so bad but you refuse to let it get you down. I worked my ass off today reminding myself of all of the amazing things I have to be grateful of. And there is so much. Just writing that makes me less irritated.

But then I woke up.

Hubby and I snipped in the car at 8 AM. Then I got pulled over at 9:30 because my tags were expired. Not just a little. But four months. That's right folks. I'm a dumbass. It's too long to explain why I thought they were current, but the fact of the matter is that I didn't look at my own damn license plate and now I have two tickets. One for $200 that's for the emissions and one that's for $100 for the expired registration. Yippee.

I got pulled over in front of an office building, and after the cop left I sat there and cried with my head in my hands for a minute and when I looked up I had in audience in the office in front my car. Such polite people.

So I moved on and went to the gym where I tried to work out my frustrations literally, but eventually ended up in the Sauna still frustrated. So I laid there and said "thank you" for everything I could think of, down to the orthopedics that are supposedly helping my crappy feet.

I felt better. Then Hubby tells me that to replace his starter will be $400. So, there's $400 plus the $300 in tickets, PLUS the $200+ to get the registration and emissions renewed. Sigh...I STILL did not let it get me too down.

Then we got snippy again.

Then we went to a hockey game (Aces kicked sweet butt, btw) and snipped again.

Then I came home and had to come home and 'feel' things that I have learned to avoid quite well as of late. I got pushed over the edge.

Did I mention I love Grey Goose's?

I'm on my way to bed now, halfway back up to happy. Still slightly down, but have too much shit to do and something has to go. So now all I have to do is decide what has to go. Fun fun...

Friday, February 02, 2007

My funny kiddos

"F-ing Native Jamiroquai"

That's exactly what Hubby said last night about 15 minutes into the Pamyua (pronounced BUM-yo-ah and is Yupik for "encore") show. We were excited to go to the concert, but we really had no idea what was in store for us. Leaving the kiddos behind with auntie was our assumed height of the evening. But then there was the great First Tap Moose's Tooth beer which can't hurt any event.

First it started with all of the Girdwood, music-starved-hippy-chicks to move down front in their swishy skirts and tiny tops with dirty hair. Always entertaining. We couldn't get a good view, so we moved to the wall where we were completely unobstructed except by the incredibly people watching. There was night-at-the-roxbury guy right in front of us who did not move his feet at any point the entire night but jerked his tall body around in every direction possible in rhythm. I'm not kidding - he literally did the Chris Kattan head bob!

My favorite part was during the intermission when Eminem played on the speakers and people were still dancing. Somehow this song inspired the 50-something couples in front of us to get jiggy and a couple about twenty feet away to have a dirty romp while the lights were up. I mean, come on! We're at a funky native pop concert in a small theater and you're grabbing him WHERE? So funny.

Here's a good way for me to help you visualize what last night was like. Add all of these things and what do you get?

Beer
Throat Singing
Funky guitar
Bob Marley
Prince
Great Bass playing
Song in Yupik
Justin Timberlake (I'm not kidding - they did a cover!)
Rastafarian Bongo player
Fan Dancer
Jon Lennon
More hot dancers
Hot singers (seriously - hubby admitted to having a man crush. And the only other guy he's ever admitted that for is Bradley Whitford. Which of course I can FULLY support.)
And no kids!

If anyone ever wants to hear a clip I'll have the music, cause Hubby just told me he's going to buy all of their CDs.