10 Lb. of Butta

WAHOO! I hit -10.6 Lbs lost today! Translation: All day my pants kept falling down, and I didn't mind one bit!

Black Friday at -20 degrees

Even though I wasn't one of the crazy people that camped outside of Best Buy at 1 AM in the -20 degree, butt-chapping cold I am still incredibly proud of myself for actually going. Pat me on the back please!

I woke up, started the car, took a shower, got dressed, then packed Junior up in his furry gigantic snowsuit. We drove over to Joann's Fabrics and prepared for the battle for $.99 flannel.

Junior isn't quite old enough to sit up in a cart on his own (especially at 5:45 AM) so I brought the Baby Bjorn. However I was very lucky to get him in it and even luckier to be able to get him out. His snowsuit was SO HUGE that I almost couldn't get him buckled in and then it wouldn't unlatch.

When the doors opened 20+ women rushed inside and started unloading bolts into their baskets. I was lucky enough to get to the fabric cutting counter before they had to start calling numbers, but that was all in my plan. Grab what I could and get in the front of the line. Easier said than done. There were 10 women all standing in front of anything that I wanted. I even found myself trading bolts with other ladies at the fabric cutting counter. GASP!

(I'm such a mommy-nerd)

All of this cute flannel though has me playing with my sexy new serger. I may leave my husband for this fantastic appliance. The only other appliance that I have found myself this compatible with is my pink Kitchenaid Mixer. There is nothing else on earth I need. I can make cake and diapers. Really, what else do you need in life?

Wal-Mart and Now Costco?

I never expected Costco to be the soul-sucking excursion that Wal-Mart often is. But today totally taught me differently.

After only 4+ hours of sleep I drug myself out of bed to go get the most fabulous toddler size kitchen (I would post a link - but they are sold out!!! I'll take a picture soon) a little girl could ever want. It was below zero this morning (for those non-alaskans we like to refer to that as "nose hair freezing cold"), and in order for me to guarantee that this fantabulous christmas present would fit I needed to remove both carseats (which have practically been surgically installed) and the double stroller.

Once on the road I call my Mom to brag about how I'm going to get her granddaughter the cutest present ever. I'm so excited I can't stand it. I get to Costco at 8:48 AM and see that the doors aren't actually open. Funny. I call home and hubby tells me that they only open to business members at 9 and normal members at 10. Great.

So I find other entertainment (buying a serger! WAHOO!) just down the street. Get myself a starbucks and come back an hour later. I realize I don't have my membership card and that I haven't seen it for awhile. So I go to the membership counter and get a new one. Then I grab one of those giant flat carts, with my gloves on because my hands might meld with the nitrogen frozen handle, and stroll on in.

I head right for the back of the store, where the kids' christmas gifts are and I don't see it. I'm not entirely sure how big it is, so I'm worried I'm missing it. I stop and ask to other mom's if they've seen where it might be. That's when I meet Franken-mom.

She's so intense that I immediately regret asking her anything. "THEY'RE OUT!!! and they DON'T SHIP TO ALASKA!!!" she practically yells at me.

"Oh? Darn! Ok, thanks", I casually respond, trying desperately to escape.

Then both her and the other woman start telling me where and what I should buy to replace this fabulous kitchen find. One of which is the new Cinderella Kitchen. BARF! That's exactly the toy I want to avoid.

As I slip out of her grip I slowly head back up to the front of the store (call hubby to bitch - he figures out that Costco does ship to AK) then realize I could get a rug instead. Yes, I still plan on getting her the kitchen, but since it's not here and the car is empty I'll just go ahead and use today's moola for the rug we need. I ditch my flat cart and go back to the front of the store (while making this long trip I simultaneously lose and then find my brand new membership card which drives hubby mad) and grab a regular cart.

I find the rug I want but of course, it's the only one left and it's in the back of the box. So I have to go back to the front of the store, find a manager and ask for help. This really nice gentleman comes back and helps me, lifting it like it was no problem (I am such a wuss) and goes on his merry way.

Then I see Crazy Lady again and I stop to let her know that Costco does ship to AK and before I can say anything she grabs my arm and says, "I'VE BEEN LOOKING EVERYWHERE FOR YOU! I FOUND THEM! THEY'RE IN THE BACK! WAY BACK! DO YOU WANT ME TO SHOW YOU?"

My arm is dying for circulation and I'm leaning back from the pressure that her demeanor is blasting at my face. I thank her politely, cuss to myself because I've got the rug ready to go and I. want. to. leave. (I've been here for at least 40 minutes already and the only thing I KNOW I'm buying are baby clothes and underwear)

Sure enough, there they are in the back of the store, in the kids section. I just missed them. So I ditch the rug in a random aisle, go all the way back to the front of the store, grab another flat cart, carefully load the giant box onto the cart, grab hubby some underwear (the man only owns 6 pairs!! MADNESS!), get into line, start the checkout process, swipe my American Express gift card, what? It doesn't work? Hubby said they were activated (I have 3 that will cover the entire expense of the kitchen).

So I step out of the line and call American Express. They explain that I can use the cards but there's some special thing the checkout person has to do. Great. I then realize that I've missed my window for getting in line and out the door quickly. The lines are against the turkey jerky now. Fun. After 20 minutes of standing in line the manager gets called because the Russian checkout girl doesn't have any clue what I'm talking about. Manager saves day - and is my morning hero!

Total trips back and forth across the store: 6. Total phone calls to hubby: unknown. How much a good stiff drink is worth to Amber after her morning adventure: Priceless.

Sweaty

Since my children have a cold and it is freakin' cold outside I decided I needed to pull out one of my TaeBo DVDs...yikes! I'm am a stinky sweaty girl right now who only made it 20 minutes into TaeBo Cardio. However short that may sound, it is still longer than the last time I tried it - 12 minutes.

I also have not been counting my ww points all that well lately because I've been cooking meals from scratch. Which you would think would be easier, but it takes a lot of work to figure out the points for something that involved. Tonight we're having tacos though, so I'll figure out the points before dinner.

Time to do some yoga and take advantage of the relaxin hormone still lingering in my system.

Fun Mommy Stuff

I'll save the fun stuff for last. Today Ali is sick. She spent the past two days at her grandparent's house, and I spent that time cleaning. It felt so good. We missed her, but it was so nice to be able to get some stuff done. Even now, while she's just sitting in her high chair I feel less able to keep cleaning. But the poor thing is all stuffed up, coughing, and has a mild fever. Hubby medicated her while I was at Weight Watchers this morning, so she'll probably pass out soon.

I didn't gain or lose last week, but this morning was my first gain. So I'm officially done with the mass post-partum fat melt. I'm now writing down all of my ww points. ugh. I hate tracking.

Especially since I've started cooking. This sounds funny, but The Food Network has changed my life! I'm not a bad cook. I'm an uneducated cook. After sitting on the couch for probably hundreds of hours watching Food Network I've picked up some basics that I didn't have. Things that I hadn't learned that make cooking much less intimidating. Now all I want to do is cook. And not with my weight watchers recipes! LOL!

The fun stuff is that yesterday Junior laughed for the first time. We got in the tub with booger and when they came face to face in the water they both started laughing. It was awesome! Booger's first fit of giggles was caused by the dog and much later. She was about 5 or 6 months old.

Laughing baby, chubby butt, and cold-ass sunshine. Happy day!

Re-do

I'm rewriting a post I recently deleted because I think it's important that I say it, but say it right. But I need to state beforehand that many people have contributed in their own way. People that I know, have known or have never met.

When someone makes the decision to cheat they may or may not know what the consequences will be. They most likely have let go of all self control to fulfill a need that has long been void. I would guess that in most cases that's true. And although not justifiable, it's understandable that they may not be making the greatest of decisions in that state.

What I never thought about was how much it affected the world around you. I see my world so differently. I never thought I would know people that would commit adultery, or flirt with it. And here I sit knowing many people who seem to have lost that moral compass. Most of them have seen what they've done wrong and have repented but some of them have not, and do not see their wrongdoing.

It's amazing how differently I see the world. How little I trust in people's morals. I've spent my life trying to believe the best in people. A little bit of that has been taken away. Like it's been chipped away, one little immoral deed at a time.

My family had a friend while I was growing up that was incredibly "free" with herself. I never thought of her as anything but the way she was. But at some point she was virginal. At some point she had to make the choice to take another path. Maybe if I had been around at that point I would have learned this lesson earlier about being human. But I just saw her for her what she was, not what she could have been.

I used to see people purely in their potential. Why would you want to see any less in anyone? Now I'm being shown that I'm reaching too high. I don't know what to do with that.

I am not trying to sit up on my perch and judge at those below me. It's easy to judge when you're in a happy protected place. It's easy to tell people what they should have done and hold yourself in greater esteem. I really don't want to do that. I know that outside of my warm safe place I could or would be making decisions that other people might not understand including myself. I have made bad decisions. I still make bad decisions. I do not think I am above anyone else.

I am thankful. I am grateful. Everyday I think about how lucky I am, and I work my ass off to keep it. All I want is for everyone to feel this love. Love of life, family, and friends. I am devastated that so many people do not. I have had moments of feeling completely broken by the realization that so many people feel so lost and alone.

All I ask is that people live their life as best as possible, caring for others and trying to be a loving example. I wish there was more I could do, but if that's it, then I'm going to do my best.

Nurturing

What's important in a marriage? What's important for yourself? Nurturing! Hubby and I were talking about how important it was for a couple to not only work within their partnership but to also nurture each other. By giving of ourselves to our partners we receive so much more back.

I also think it's equally important to nurture yourself. Especially if you are a mother. I've found myself running around with my head cut off for the past few days and I'm realizing that I need to STOP and take care of myself. Even if I'm not sure how - which is normally my problem.

My first step in self-nurturing was to go buy clothes for myself. Since having junior I've only bought old navy tshirts and some pants. Just enough to get through the "fat" days. Even though I'm not back to pre-preggo size I'm still feeling like I need some clothes that make me feel like a woman and not a "Mom". (Not attacking moms, I just don't want to dress like one. lol)

Buying clothes is not an easy task for me. When I go tot he store I already am feeling guilty for buying something for myself but if it's not on sale then I generally don't buy it. Which means that most of the time my wardrobe is pretty sucky. Or it's full of Old Navy.

I found pretty clothes I liked the other day and NONE of them were on sale. And I don't care. Well, NOW I don't care, because right before I bought them I called hubby to ask permission. He acted like I was loony. Like I would normally ask permission to do anything else! HA!

Clothes purchased. Hubby nurtured. I myself being nurtured by hubby. I decided today would be a day slightly off. I have done some stuff around the house, but there is so much more to do and instead I'm sitting here, blogging and shopping for cheap glasses. My kids are watching cartoons and cuddled up in their "spots" (booger's on the couch and junior's in his swing).

Speaking of Junior's swing: He's so huge that when he swings one of the legs lifts off of the ground and moves, until he's done a complete circle, or run into the couch. He's almost 19 lbs! and 3 months old!

Ditzy and unfocused

I can't pin down just one though to write about. There are a few things I'd like to write about but that are totally inappropriate. Which totally sucks because this is supposed to be my voice of relief. Oh well, I guess having a glass of wine works to numb the pain.

JOKING! Can't take a joke huh?

In all seriousness, I'm trying to deal with some things that make me nauseous just thinking about them. And the only thing that will make me feel better is to be honest with someone I love, knowing that it will hurt them. Sucks to be me.

Enough self-hate. I got my hair cut. It's gone. I'm so much happier. Hubby has been very sweet telling me how great it looks, and I believe him, but to me it's more about the fact that I don't have to think about my hair anymore. It's so short that it never moves! WAHOO!

I also am very proud to say that I've made my second attempt at chicken stock and I think it was much more successful than my last attempt. I didn't simmer it long enough last time, and this time I let it boil for three hours. It smelled awesome. Hopefully it will make good soup. We'll see.

I'll try and refocus after I do the awful dirty deed. That will help to clear my head. In the meantime - check out the latest family photos!

Post Drama

After weeks of assorted drama it's nice to have a friend make a comment that validates the choice you're most proud of. My husband is a "good man". Makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to think about how lucky I am to have stumbled upon him (repeatedly for years).

I see so many people going through things that I am confident we will not experience because of how close we are. I'm not saying we won't have problems, because to assume that is ignorant, but that we won't experience deceit, adultery, or violence. It shatters my hope and joy for people when I find out just how unhappy their marriage is.

I used to be a kid...I miss that naivity.

Ending on a cute sappy note: I googled myself this morning and this is what I found. You can just do a page find (Ctrl+F) and type in my name to find it.

I HAVE to have one!

My new favorite toy is so amazing. Now I don't have to annoy my friends with all of my Dr. Lauraisms...I just pull the string!