Ditzy and unfocused

I can't pin down just one though to write about. There are a few things I'd like to write about but that are totally inappropriate. Which totally sucks because this is supposed to be my voice of relief. Oh well, I guess having a glass of wine works to numb the pain.

JOKING! Can't take a joke huh?

In all seriousness, I'm trying to deal with some things that make me nauseous just thinking about them. And the only thing that will make me feel better is to be honest with someone I love, knowing that it will hurt them. Sucks to be me.

Enough self-hate. I got my hair cut. It's gone. I'm so much happier. Hubby has been very sweet telling me how great it looks, and I believe him, but to me it's more about the fact that I don't have to think about my hair anymore. It's so short that it never moves! WAHOO!

I also am very proud to say that I've made my second attempt at chicken stock and I think it was much more successful than my last attempt. I didn't simmer it long enough last time, and this time I let it boil for three hours. It smelled awesome. Hopefully it will make good soup. We'll see.

I'll try and refocus after I do the awful dirty deed. That will help to clear my head. In the meantime - check out the latest family photos!

Long Day Post Night Terrors

I think yesterday was the longest day I've ever had. Booger's night terrors continued into her waking hours. I've never seen anyone cry that way before. It wasn't crying, or screaming, or wailing...it was raging. Raging about anything and everything. Fun stuff!

But! After 14 hours of sleep I seem to have regained my daughter - still a two year old, but my daughter nonetheless. Junior also had a four hour sleeping spree - YIPPEE for me! I actually had a four hour stretch.

I have evidence of his voracious appetite now that we've weighed him. He was 7 lbs at birth, but went down to 6 lbs 9 oz within the week. So from 6.9 he's gained 4 lbs 5 oz. in 3 weeks! THREE WEEKS! I suppose his third chin should have been evidence, but DAMN!

And, due to the diaper rash that won't leave and his colic I'm now wheat free. The Dr. (which you all know I adore) said that Soy probably isn't a culprit because I really don't have that much in my diet. Since I've already cut out dairy and eggs, there really isn't much else left. So on top of the dairy and eggs I'm now wheat free. Honestly, if my ass doesn't melt off with this diet then I don't know how else to lose weight! LOL!

BTW - apparently butter doesn't cause allergy issues because it's the fat of the milk, not the protein and caseine. WAHOO! Buttered sprouted grain toast - here I come!

Baby Blues

I don't really remember feeling the so called "baby blues" with booger. Mainly, I think because I was already stressed with her crying all of the time and trying to make her feel better. We were already so keyed up about having a baby that maybe the excitement just pushed me through the hormonal humps. I'm not denying I didn't cry and have ups and downs I just don't remember feeling this way.

It's so much harder than I thought it would be to try and divide myself between two kids. I was so sad for Booger at first and then I started getting annoyed that she needed my attention. I so wanted Junior to have the same amount of undivided attention and bonding that she had, but she kept getting in the way. Which of course, made me feel even worse because only one week earlier she was the most perfect creature on earth. Even the terrible two's weren't making her look any less attractive.

And Junior has annoyed me because just when I get a chance to redeem myself in Booger's eyes he gets hungry. Why does this kid have to eat all of the time? And why is he starting to get so attached to me that I can't lay him down to sleep? He slept great on his own last week. GGGRRRRR!

Add sleep deprivation and hormones on top of that and you've got one blue mama.

OH! and to top it off (and no I'm not blaming anyone but myself for this) he has allergies. I figured Dairy and Eggs. Not an easy thing to cut off, but I did it with booger, so I can do with for Junior. But NOOOO this kid has the worst gas ever. At 2 AM it's so bad that he won't nurse, so I end up getting even less sleep. So I'm going to try and see this week what it might be by cutting out the following foods: Dairy, Eggs, Chocolate, Caffeine, Soy and Wheat. Yes folks...I will be eating cardboard. Cardboard covered in SUGAR!

I self medicated my lack of ice cream and cookies tonight by buying a bag of gummi worms and root beer. I'm thoroughly sugared. Thank god. I thought I might die otherwise.