Off of the fat wagon again

I just can't seem to gain the same motivation for losing weight that I had a few months ago. I wanted it so badly and I believed Oprah (who wouldn't) when she said I had to do this for ME before I could do anything for anyone else. I figured that there was no excuse good enough, and of course beat myself up when there was one. So I quit. I know...that's ridiculous. But I have found that I am not good at moderation. I am hot or cold. I'm trying desperately to have a more balanced outlook on fitness and nutrition, but I keep running into walls. Whether it's a beer wall or a hamburger wall...it's there and it's not moving!

I'm going to try again. I REALLY want to be at least 150 when we go to hawaii, and I would LOVE to be 145! Even to reach 160 would be wonderful. But I have to get off of my ass. That means saying goodby to my mocha and muffin. My eating out habit must go. And I have to listen to my husband when he asks me to go to the gym when he gets home from work. sigh.....yay! I'm so excited (yawn) to start. (zzzzzzzzzzzzzz...)

Hypocrites....Why I catch myself being one so frequently

I love to get up on my soapbox (as do most) but I find that I'm right more often than most. How can I be wrong, it's coming from my brain right?

I found myself analyzing certain people (No, I will not be naming names, but you can be rest assured, it's not you) and how they respond to the mountain of knowledge I contain and enjoy telling everyone about. I actually really do try to not sound like a know it all, or like my way is the best way, or that I REALLY fully understand ANYTHING I'm talking about, but I also know I tend to sound like a know it all snob, so with that in mind I will continue.

My path this past year has led me to a whole new way of life. I have taken on a more "natural" existence, and although the road is slow and sluggish due to preconceived ideas and cultural attitudes, I still believe natural and non-invasive medicine and life is better. However when I try to tell these "people" about something I may have learned, or something that has helped me along these lines I feel that I get the "Oh, she's talking that hocus pocus again". No one has been rude. In fact I'm most likely way to overly sensitive and paranoid and what I'm really picking up on could be someone's indigestion.

So when someone came to me with a great medical natural breakthrough, I found myself being the skeptical one. So after a few days of feeling smarter than everyone else, I decided to do my own research and find out for myself if what they were claiming is true. I found that it is, mostly. But I also found some precautionary information that I will share with these people later, after I consult with my doctor.

I think that too many people see "natural" and immediately think that it's okay to just start ingesting, but I don't like to do anything like that without consulting my doctor. I trust that she knows a lot more than I do and that she'll make sure whatever I'm taking is beneficial...not harmful or just wasteful.

Oh...did I mention that I want to go into the medical field now? hhmmm...I didn't? Oh well.

God...an entire month already?

I've had the busiest month. I worked two jobs (which really barely equals full time for me, but nonetheless) and my daughter turned 1! Holy crap! An entire year old. It's not enough that she has to be a year, but then it feels like her birthday just put her on fast forward for development. She says more and does more every day. Things that you can't imagine she would know how to do, she just DOES. whew....makes me weepy and exhausted just to think about it.

I cried the other day at the silliest thing that she did. I asked her to give her teddy bear a hug and she did. It was the SWEETEST thing I'd ever seen, and I just started crying like...well, a baby. I'm such a sap.

We had a great fourth - chillin at the folks house. Drinking, food and just chillin. Very fun. Alison I think, had more fun than the rest of us though.