Changes and other meanderings...

Yes, this is just to remind you that I am indecisive. Think of this blog as a reflection of self. That I am still trying to find myself. No. Don't think of me that way. um....

Let's IMAGINE that I'm a 17 year old trying to find myself. Yeah! And that...um...I'm experimenting with the world outside of my comfort zone. Experimentation can be a great learning tool.

I cannot promise that this will be the last change I make, but I can guarantee that by the end of the year I will have my own URL and will make the page exactly how I want it. Instead of trying to piece together another person's design and make it work the way I want.

In other news, we've been in this internal battle over whether or not we should move. When we should move, and how the hell we're going to be able to afford to move. We were putting that all on hold, since I'm going to squeeze a baby out of my butt in 3 months and all, and instead I found what sounded like a GREAT apartment that was in our price range. Even though we knew it might be a long shot we decided to at least go look at it. Thank god we did. We now know that we would have been pining over the imaginary splendor the apartment that never was. This place was a dump. Maybe not a total dump, but close enough. and to top it off, the landlord was kind of a bitch.

We couldn't figure out if she was that way all of the time or if it was us. But she definetely didn't feel all that friendly. And she didn't seem to take the greatest care of the outside either. and NO DISHWASHER! OMG! So...we now can relax. We're not moving...at least not yet.

And to end this on a funny note - my husband is ruthless. Whether it's for a good cause or not. And so incredibly sharp witted to think of these things when he does. I would spend year planning on saying the things he says to people and NEVER remember to say them. or be too chicken.

He went to walk the dog this afternoon. He takes Tundra to go next to the dumpster inside of the condo fencing, but there is a hole in the fence and a sidewalk on the other side of the fence.

As Tundra was doin' her thang a little scottish terrier, not on a leash, showed up from around the fence and got Tundra all excited. The owner jogged up behind him and said very politely to my honey, "Don't worry. He won't bite."

My sweetie replies, "No problem. I don't mind if he does."

"Really?" the jogger enthusiastically replies.

"Yeah, sure. I'm a personal injury lawyer. I deal with dog bites all of the time, so I'm not worried about myself if I were to get bitten by a dog not on a leash."

Did my husband take on another career when I wasn't looking? No, I don't think so. Nope...I'm pretty sure he's just a bastard when someone is an idiot who can't follow the law. He's so cool.

Look Mommy, a birdie!  

ha ha! I've taken Mommy's spot on the couch!  

Alison's first french braid. I'm sure it won't stay in long! 

Potty Power!!!

Yes, that's right. You heard it here folks. I have Potty Power! I only wish my daughter would decide to have Potty Power. In the meantime though I get to enjoy such songs as "When You're Sittin' on the Potty" and "I'm a Big Kid". And when I wash my hands I now sing "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" to time myself. So at least I've learned something.

I'm so thankful to add this to my kid repetoire. I can't just have one children's song stuck in my head every night to entertain me. That just wouldn't cut it. Last week it was the "Teddy Bear Picnic" or "Animal Crackers in my Soup". Now I can relax knowing that in just a few minutes when I'm drifting off to sleep I will have a running lullaby of:

What do you like to do when you're sittin on the potty?
When you're sittin on the potty for awhile
Well there's lots of things to do
That will keep you busy too
sittin
on
the
potty!

Maybe this will finally cure me of my bedwetting problem.

Making fun of your husband....good times.

I adore my hubbie. He takes amazing care of us. Not only does he work two jobs but he comes home and is constantly concerned that I get out and have some "me" time. He's charming, funny and so smart. I just want to make sure that everyone understands that (including him) before I humiliate him in a second. ha ha

We live in Anchorage where there is a city ordinance against barbecue on your deck. We LOVE to grill, so it's frustrating. We've even gone so far as to try and grill on the stove and let the fan suck up the smoke. Yeah, that wasn't so successful.

So he has spent this last year looking at every single deck he can see and taking inventory of how many people have barbecues on their deck. Then he throws a fit about how he should call the cops on them or better yet, he's just going to grill on his deck. I've tried to talk him down from this - to tell him that the risk isn't worth it, but he's on a crusade. He's going to grill and tell the city to shove it!

So we cleaned up the deck yesterday and got it ready for summer fun. He set up our coleman roadtrip grill on the glass table, so it wasn't visible from the street, and I hooked up the propane. As soon as it started sizzling he got a sheepish nervous look on his face and asked that I go turn on some music. One minute later we had Johnny Cash at Fulsom Prison blaring out the glass door. That helped to cover the sizzling, however it did nothing for the smoke that was now pouring out of the grill because it was too hot!

He became progressively more nervous. "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.", he says to me. I'm trying so hard not to laugh...cackle actually.

I ended up taking the remained of the uncooked chicken and cooking it on the george foreman grill in the kitchen. LOL.

Lesson: Move if you want to cook food however you want.

DRAMA!!

When I talk to friends they ask what I've been up to. Most of the time I can easily say "nothing". At least nothing that anyone really wants to hear.

"Well, today I changed two poopy diapers after 3 timeouts, a shower, and Dora the Explorer. Later we're going to the grocery store after naptime."

YAWN!

But of course the one day that there is a drama it isn't just one thing, it's everything! I'm sure that "drama energy" replicates itself. If one thing is big, there's bound to be another big thing right behind it because you get so amped up dealing with the first situation. I'm going to have to call Mom and have her explain that to me.

So tonight, in the middle of Joe feeding me his day of drama and how it's affecting our lives at home, I get a phone call from my best friend saying her husband just rolled his car on the highway. By the time I get off of the phone I'm crying (he's okay btw) and in a moment Joe continues with his dramatic information. This information over the next hour or so leads us to make a decision that we know will makes waves for a lot of people, but we believe it's for the greater good.

Of course, we end up having to contact people to inform them of the steps we're taking, which is only the first wave, but Joe bravely gets on the phone to make the call. While he's on the phone the dog starts acting really strangely. She won't get out from under the recliner footrest, then she runs into the corner and she's being completely disobedient. I attempt to make her stay in her "spot" and she bites me.

YAY! MORE DRAMA!

Of course, since we're already on a crusade I decide this is the final straw and she's going. I'm done. No more wishy washy. No more waiting. If someone doesn't adopt her ASAP then I'm taking her somewhere where someone else can deal with her regardless of the outcome.

Joe then sends an email to the main party the initial drama is regarding (I know, not tell you who or why isn't cool of me, but it wouldn't be right to gossip or speak badly about someone we care about). This isn't an easy move on his or my part, so that was a bit overwhelming.

But since we're on such a roll I say, "Honey, I think it's time we move." WTF? Am I an idiot? What happened to, "When the time is right?" and "We don't have the money right now." Who cares! Let's just throw caution into the wind because we're obviously invincible!

Oh yeah, and Joe interviews for the IBEW in a month! A MONTH! Did I mention that I would be pushing a human being out of my body too by the end of the summer?

So in a nutshell we are drama-change-chaos-energy fed individuals and enjoy the emotional upheaval of doing every life changing event possible all at once. No one can say "the thrill is gone" in our marriage! (and they'd better not...cause I'd kick they're ass with my swollen foot!)

I hate secrets!

I have always had a problem with blabbing my mouth. There are just some things that I can't contain. I even enjoy gossip sometimes just for the pure rush of telling something so juicy. And I hate that I do.

I'm confessing today that I have committed an act of purging my own secret. One that my husband now can hold over my head from here until eternity because I made such a HUGE deal about not telling anyone. I even got mad at him when he told someone else (although I still feel it's justified because he didn't ask my permission and didn't seem to think it was a big deal when I thought it was)

We decided with this pregnancy to not discuss the baby names we were choosing because we didn't want to the pressure, or opinions of anyone else. It's our kid, so who cares if you don't like the names Unique, Bubba, or Sledge. If that's what we like then that's our perogative.

Well, we've settled on something (I think) and it's been eating away at me when I spend time with my best girlfriend. All I want to do is tell her. After days of excruciating torture I decided to tell her. Only after I called and asked for permission from my hubby, of course. Which meant I essentially had to admit to being a freak and that from now on he can make all sorts of fun of me for making such a big stink out of the whole thing.

After that ordeal was over with I was free! I could tell her whatever I wanted. So I did! And now I feel like crap. Not that I don't want her to know! I'm just so dissappointed in myself. I wish I hadn't let my own excitement get to me. Instead of realizing the journey was the best part I jumped to the finish line and was crushed to discover that there was no real reward. Sure...now I can share it with her, but really wasn't it more special that I only share it with my husband?

No, I will not be sharing with anyone else. You'll all have to wait. That's right - you're just not that special. (ok...some of you are...but don't let it go to your head!)

Censorship

Many of you may already know how much I love the blog Hannihaus. And it's not just because I know Hanni (name drop), but because she is so incredibly witty and entertaining. It's my opinion that with wit and entertaining should come forgiveness of the things you sometimes HAVE write about.

That doesn't mean that gives all witty and entertaining (yes, I'm referring to myself) bloggers the right to bash on their friends and family for entertainment, but even professional comedians have to get their content from somewhere, and sometimes that shat just ain't made up!

Many of the comments on her last post were referring to the anonymity of blogging. It's sad to me, but I've considered starting my own blog where no one knows who I am and I don't tell anyone. But one of the great pleasures in life for me is sharing my life with the people I love. And I find myself so many times censoring what I say on this page just to make sure that I don't offend anyone or stir the pot where it probably is already on the edge of simmering.

And yes, I know many of you would be just fine with me writing whatever I needed to, but even in my own censorship I've hurt friends and family when there was never any intention. So I may just start my secret blog. And those posts that I deem worthy of all eyes will be copied to this one. For entertainment purposes only. ;)

We're practicing to make mommy a "soccer mommy". 

What a kissy little Booger! 

More Self Deprecation

I have decided the best way to get over my embarrassment is to just make sure everyone on the planet (because that's how many people read my blog) here's my story. What makes the humiliation so great is that I didn't know I should be embarrassed for about a week. Thankfully my brilliantly witty and superbly honest husband pointed it out for me. Isn't he sweet?

I got back from my trip to Kansas a few weeks ago and was showing Joe the video I brought back. There is this great clip showing how unbelievably corny my family is - they're all standing around singing California Girls. I, thinking I am unbelievably witty and smart, make a comment (on film!) about how I can't believe they're all singing a David Lee Roth song.

Yes...yes I did. Now I know some of you may be as clueless and juvenile as I, however I am still in shock that my family didn't look at me like I had 12 heads. I should have known better. I should have kept my mouth shut. I shouldn't have said it TWICE!

I can't help it if I didn't grow up in the 60s...I'm a child of the 80s, and I was a HUGE David Lee Roth/Van Halen fan at the age of 8, so when Joe looked at me and said, "You DIDN'T just say that!" it occured to me what I had said. What could I do but admit that the fact that The Beach Boys wrote and sang that song and I didn't remember when the moment counted.

So I'd like to send out a thanks to my family for letting me stew in my embarrassment. You are all so sweet to try and protect my stupidity. I'll make sure and let my therapist know how kind you all are this week.

Mess in my pants

Pregnancy brings on all sorts of strange symptoms that you could never imagine until they happen to you. The barfing, heartburn, bad skin, sore back, etc...but until you sneeze and lose control of another bodily function you really can't relate. (Unless you're some unnamed family member who this happens to on a regular basis)

I was walking through Carrs (Safeway for you unAlaskans) when I felt a sneeze coming on. I knew I had to pee, but it never occurred to me that my sneezing would bring on that need more. So I'm looking at the scented candles and I feel the first tingles behind my eyes, tricking down my nose...oh...ah....AAHHHH...CHOOOOO. Simultaneously I pee, just a little (or so I assume). This is not the first time in recent times, so I just assume it's just a little and that I'll change when I get home. But of course, it's more than that.

It takes me a full minute before I realize that I feel rather damp, so I look down and sure enough I have very obviously peed myself. I have a lovely wet streak down the right thigh that shows up very well in my Khakis and the fluorescent lights. The fact that I can also see past my stomach to see it means that it's probably worse at ground zero.

The day was saved with my extra sweater, but I've started peeing as soon as I get somewhere just in case. I don't want to have a repeat of that episode. Hopefully I don't start farting or anything when I sneeze like some unnamed family member(s).

La La La Laaaaa! School is Ova!

I don't know if I've ever really felt this kind of relief from the end of a semester. I know my house is about to feel it. I'm living in a pig sty. Thanks to my statistics project I don't think I've lifted ANYTHING off of the floor in a least a week, and it wasn't super clean before that anyway.

Never before during my entire Bachelor's degree did I nearly cry during a final or midterm and both times in my statistics class I did! I was on the precipice...waiting for the flood gates to open and to collapse to the floor. But NO! I am tougher than that. Maybe not "A" material, but at least a high "C". What's funny is the class was fine, it was the tests that sucked big marbles. How could a class feel that easy and then run you over, back up over you, run over you again, and then back up one more time just for good measure, every time you sit down to take a test?

Thank god it's over.

Amazing Booger

I just witnessed my amazing 22 month old daughter count along with Big Bird during the Journey to Ernie. She sang along with his whole counting and then "ready or not, here I come".

Yes, I am a pathetic bragging sappy parent.

ACES WIN!

It's 12:40ish and we just walked in the door from a six period (3 overtime periods) game. Crazy! We got there at 6:30 and didn't walk out until 12:15! It was almost to the point of not caring who won anymore.

Anyone who has never experienced this type of sporting event should indulge every once in awhile. Even though my feet look like cabbage patch doll legs from sitting so long, it was still so so worth it.